Well, if the Loch Ness monster were dead, she'd be turning in her grave this weekend.

Why? Festival season is continuing with the event dubbed "Rock Ness".

"Rock" does not rhyme with "Loch". Aye, right enough, thae Sassenachs cannae say "Loch" right. They say "Lock" -- nae problem, if that's the best they can dae, it's the best they can dae. However, by rhyming "Rock" with "Lock", they are implying that their pronunciation is right, and that really winds me up.

Is this what would make Nessie turn in her grave? Well maybe, but Nessie's not the Loch Ness monster I'm referring to.

No, I mean The Loch Ness Monster, the official name for the festival on all the posters and ticket sites. Do a websearch for "Loch Ness Monster" -- there aren't many related URLs left and any websearches for the festival would be lost in the mist. So some marketing bright spark came up with the idea of Rock Ness -- rockness.co.uk was still available.

However, not only is this name demeaning to and dismissive of both Scots and Gaelic, but Rock Ness? It's a dance music festival, for pity's sake.